Richard Helm's Confession

I, Richard Helm, being under no coercion, intimidation, physical torture, or emotional duress, hereby confess to all the charges that have made against me. I can say, in my defense, only that I was an unwitting dupe of a powerful cult of personality, led by Gamma, Johnson, and Vlissides. These men were the masterminds behind the nefarious conspiracy exposed in the court's indictment. I was crazed by too much junk food I was only following orders. Computer Science itself made me what I am. I throw myself on mercy of the court. May God have mercy on my soul.

-- Signed Richard Helm

Entered by the court in absentia on 3 November 1999 during the Show Trial of the Gang-of-Four for Crimes Against Computer Science.