Richard Helm's Confession
I, Richard Helm, being under no coercion,
intimidation, physical torture, or emotional
duress, hereby confess to all the charges
that have made against me. I can say, in
my defense, only that I was an unwitting
dupe of a powerful cult of personality,
These men were the masterminds behind
the nefarious conspiracy exposed in
the court's indictment.
I was crazed by too much
I was only following orders.
Computer Science itself made me what I am.
I throw myself on mercy of the court.
May God have mercy on my soul.
-- Signed Richard Helm
Entered by the
in absentia on 3 November 1999
Show Trial of the Gang-of-Four for Crimes Against Computer Science.